It seems workplace related stress and frustration has been intense over the past 12-18 months and people want to know how they can make things better for themselves and others. When I ask my clients what they want to experience more of in 2010 one resounding theme is clear: respectful, effective interactions with peers, managers, leaders as well as customers and clients.

The key to giving and gaining respect is to set the tone for productive, collaborative communication. You can do this by valuing and practicing the following in your daily interactions:

- Be objective
- Be diplomatic (and at the very least civil)
- Be empathetic
- Be inclusive

It is as simple as deciding you will incorporate these into your daily thinking and check-in with your progress. Below are simple ways you can put into practice basic principals for growing respect in your daily communication.

- Use "I" statements to share your perspective, experience and responsibilities. Examples include "I am responsible for...", "I believe that ...", or "I am concerned about..."

- Avoid "I" statements that promote superiority or exclusivity, which includes "I am right because...", "I know more about....", or "I was the only one who..."

Additional ways you can give and gain respect:

- Avoid using the directive word "You" at the start of a statement. It sets a tone that can sound like blame is being assigned to the individual(s) who is being addressed. All of which can promote non-productive and defensive reactions.

- Use "My" statements to communicate your individual responsibilities or perspectives, and avoid using "My" to create possessiveness or ownership when working with other adults.

In other words it is safe to say: "My responsibility is..." or "My perspective is that...". However, avoid saying "My team..." if you are speaking with your direct reports or staff. Instead, try starting your statement with "Our team...". It is more inclusive of others and respects each person's membership in the team no matter what role or history with the organization.

Today's work environment requires a focus on staying present, which is the key to giving, gaining and growing respect. The recommendations we've suggested have a low cost, high impact investment for building respect and trust which will provides people with sustainable dividends. These suggestions also work well in both work and personal life, making it easy and straightforward to practice, engage and definitely utilize.