I bumped into Dr. Ron Veatch, a well known psychologist in Denver, CO, at the airport. He was coming home as I was leaving town. I asked, "Ron, where've you been?" He said, "I attended a psychology conference out east." I was surprised, as this man is terrific at what he does, been in the field for many years, and knows his stuff. But, he's a life-long learner, so I said, "Great! What'd you learn?" Ron replied, "Nothin'!" Then with a twinkle in his eye he shared, "You know what the experts in my field have discovered? That we are what we think about all day long." We both smiled.

Negative thinking—it'll kill us.

In January we often hear the phrase "New Year, New You." Well, it takes more than turning the calendar to make a new me. It requires a change in thinking. And this certainly isn't new. The Bible teaches to "transform the mind" while Henry Ford famously said, "Whether you think you can or you can't — you’re right!"

But just how do we change our thinking? The answer: Displacement.

The human mind can only hold one thought at a time. We believe it holds more because the human brain functions so rapidly, but actually there's only one thought held in the brain each moment. Thus, it can be displaced. Remember what happened in that 8th grade science class experiment to the water in the full glass as another glass was pushed down into it? All the original water came out. That's what we learned in school, and that's what each of us can do now. Each negative thought can be displaced with a better one. Here's a process to employ. Using the acrostic AIM (My aim is to change!), let's explore it now.

Awareness
Insertion
Maintenance

The first step is Awareness. If I'm not aware of thoughts like these, how can I displace them?

1. "She'll/He'll never change."
   
2. "Nobody cares as much as I do."
   
3. "I can't lose weight."
   
4. "My boss ignores me."
   
5. "I just can't make friends."
   
6. "Why don't I ever get a break?"
   
7. "I have no time to exercise."
   
8. "I'll never get out of debt."
   
9. "He/she never listens."
   
10. "My kids don't respect me."

I must listen to my self-talk, that is, what I am saying to myself. Once Awareness of the negative thought occurs, I can practice the Insertion of a better one. It's true: Awareness brings choice. Holding onto a thought is a choice as is inserting a new one. Every time we possess a thought—of any kind—we have chosen it. If we choose to think negatively, to roll in garbage, to not transform our mind — then we have chosen to be a product of bad thinking. So now we insert new thinking. Study the juxtaposition of the negative thoughts above with these better thoughts below:

1. "I will change me today."
   
2. "I want to do my best."
   
3. "I can eat healthier."
   
4. "I will strive for excellence."
   
5. "I will be a better friend."
   
6. "I am not a victim."
   
7. "I can make time to exercise."
   
8. "I will take small steps toward my financial goals."
   
9. "I need to better understand him/her."
   
10. "I will work to become a more effective parent."

After displacing the bad thoughts with good thoughts through Insertion, now it's time for Maintenance. As we say in the QBQ! book, repetition is the motor of learning. Since change is a process made up of "baby steps," I will discipline myself each day — each moment — to maintain my new practice of inserting new and improved thinking. I can keep doing this since I am now aware when a garbage thought enters my mind. It's continual, it's endless, it's a process. Awareness, Insertion, Maintenance ... and then over and over again.

When my dad was the Cornell U. wrestling coach, he had hanging on the wall of the wrestling room for his men to see, a poem titled "The Man Who Thinks He Can." It was there all the years I was growing up — and it sums this QuickNote up.

THE MAN WHO THINKS HE CAN
by Walter D. Wintle

If you think you're beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you'd like to win, but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you've lost;
For out in the world we find
Success being with a person's will;
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you're outclassed, you are;
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of yourself
Before you can ever win a prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But soon or late, the one who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

In reality, we have already won when we "think we can." It's only then that we have taken true ownership of a wonderful gift we were given: Our mind. Go ahead, AIM to change today and have a winning 2007.

--------------------
John G. Miller
Author of QBQ! and Flipping the Switch
www.QBQ.com
John@QBQ.com