Reach Out to Others: Make the Workplace Kinder and More Secure
Share
We’ve just completed the month of December, a time often regarded as the “season for giving.” And for many of us, “giving” involves gifts we buy or make and then distribute to friends or family — the people we care about and value.



The recent tragic events in Newtown, Connecticut, however, started me thinking about another type of giving that I consider just as important. While a fuller picture of the Newtown shooter is bound to emerge in the coming months, it’s been suggested in the past that many who commit an act of violence against others feel unaccepted and looked upon as outsiders. With that in mind, I’d like to draw your attention to another form of giving — the kind that involves reaching out to others, and in so doing, showing that we genuinely care and want to be of help.



Ideally, this type of giving should exist everywhere people congregate. But for the purposes of this article, let’s focus on the workplace. Have you asked yourself what you are giving or offering of yourself in your work setting, besides doing the best job you can at the tasks you were hired to do (or have set for yourself, if you’re self-employed)? For example, in what ways are you giving of yourself to your fellow co-workers? An answer for some may be that you offer to pitch in and share the workload of others when it looks like their assignments are overwhelming or will be insurmountable time-wise. Another response may be that you occasionally offer to mentor a colleague, or to teach a co-worker skills that you have a better understanding of than they do. Or perhaps you’ve volunteered to stand in for an employee who couldn’t attend an out-of-town conference or meeting.



These are all good and honorable ways to be helpful, but there’s another very important form of giving that we may be neglecting, and that I suggest we make a concerted effort to focus on. I’m referring to a kind of giving that involves seeking out fellow employees, meaning communicating with them verbally and taking appropriate non-verbal actions that signify you genuinely care about their welfare. For example, when you’ve observed that a co-worker tends to not extend or respond to any greeting, and avoids making eye contact when walking past you at work, have you ignored this behavior and just moved on with your agenda? What about when you’ve come into contact with a co-worker who frequently expresses strong, negative complaints about their boss, work assignments, or workplace policies? Have you typically tried to make light of their displeasure, frustrations, or anger, or perhaps even tried to change the subject? Or what about a co-worker who consistently stays away from all work-related social gatherings? How have you responded to that? Have you tried asking them about their lack of attendance, or has that thought never crossed your mind? (Or, if it has, have you simply considered the person “antisocial” and thought it wasn’t your responsibility to question their actions?)



Those are just some examples of the many situations that — if given more of our careful thought, time, and attention — we could handle in a more constructive manner. Moreover, we could convert them into meaningful opportunities to have a positive impact on the lives of these co-workers. Starting with the non-responsive co-worker, instead of taking no action, it might be more helpful to make a second, stronger attempt to communicate with them — an effort that lets them know you are absolutely sincere about your original greeting and really are concerned about their lack of interaction. This would hopefully assure them that your intentions are good and that you respect and value them enough to want to hear what they have to say.



As for the co-worker who’s voiced strong, negative work-related complaints, it would be unhelpful and possibly even irresponsible to not take these comments seriously and to just let them pass without further discussion. It might be more helpful, for example, to let the person know that complaining to a general audience isn’t constructive, and that they’re better off directing their complaints to someone who might actually be able to institute change for them. By offering this kind of suggestion, you may be providing a helpful reminder or insight that could alter the co-worker’s feelings in a constructive way and/or diffuse a situation that’s potentially harmful to the person and his/her career.



As for the co-worker who doesn’t attend social gatherings, instead of negatively labeling them or hesitating to get involved, a more constructive response would be to non-judgmentally initiate and engage in a conversation about such activities, and to ask the person their feelings about attending. Hopefully, this conversation would give you a better awareness of your co-worker, and, with your contribution, you might present a new reason for attending. For example, it’s possible this person isn’t really aware of the value in attending work-related social events. Do they understand that interacting with work colleagues in a different setting can lead to a better appreciation of their particular characteristics and concerns, and also result in a more cooperative, productive work relationship?



Consider what a better, more compassionate, and possibly safer workplace each of us might have if we engaged in more of these “giving” actions. Therefore, as a new year begins, and you commit yourself to a new set of resolutions, think seriously about what you as an individual can do to create a better work environment. One where you reach out, befriend, and extend yourself to others with empathy, concern, and a sincere willingness to accept — particularly people who see life a little differently than the average person. A place where you let others know that you’re there for them if they do want to connect with you, and where you’ll be supportive of their strengths and talents, regardless of how popular they are with the majority. Start with those individuals with whom you come into close, frequent contact within your work environment. Take the existing policy of “no bullying” or “no harassment” a step further. Be a buddy and make a real difference!