All of the vibes seemed positive. You've had a series of interviews with a potential employer, beginning with the human resources officer heading up the job search and moving through to the manager to whom the position reports. It looks like a perfect fit for your particular education and experience. There's even been discussion of a starting date. Lunch with the division vice president, which you are told is really just a sign-off, couldn't have gone better.

It looks like a marriage made in heaven. You want the job; the organization seems to want you. You've been told that you'll get the final "welcome aboard" notice within a few days.

Days and finally weeks go by with no offer. The feedback from your follow-up calls is positive. In the meantime, you have put your job search on hold. You've passed up some attractive leads for other opportunities.

Then, the bomb drops. You get the dreaded e-mail: "We appreciate your interest in joining our organization, but we have decided to select another candidate whose particular set of skills and experience more nearly meet our needs. We wish you success."

Four lessons from this scenario are loud and clear:

1. Never fall in love with one position. Be flexible; play the field.

2. Never take anything for granted. The deal is never complete until its signed, sealed and delivered.

3. Keep your search on the front burner until you have a job firmly in hand.

4. Don't blame yourself. You made your best effort and realize that much of the influence on hiring decisions is beyond your control.

The latter point is particularly critical if you are experiencing multiple rejections. Ofer Sharone, an assistant professor at MIT Sloan School of Management who is researching this topic declares:

"It is personally devastating to start thinking there is something wrong with you. People start to believe that they are flawed...that there is something internally and deeply wrong with them. This (leads) to discouragement and people stopping the job search. If you start to think that it's your fault you're not getting a job, in many cases once you get to that stage it's very hard to continue job searching."

He says this typically happens for those who are unemployed for six months or longer and becomes stronger with time.

Sharone concludes that there are always significant elements in any job search that are beyond your control.

I wish your career success!