“Now is not really a good time for me to change careers. I should have done it before I bought the house/had kids/took this job/turned 40/etc.”
“Why didn’t I change careers years ago when I didn’t have so many responsibilities?”
“I’ll have to start from the bottom after I’ve invested so much time and effort in my current work. Is it really worth it?”
I could go on, but you get the point.
Are you a victim of the “shoulds”? Career changes are difficult but it’s people’s “shoulds” that get in the way of their desires not the external challenges that everybody faces. And in reality, these “shoulds” are not usually their own beliefs. They are beliefs they picked up along the way and made them into rules to be followed.
Like every person alive, you have an inner critic. This inner critic is meant to protect you, but sometimes it goes a bit nutty. This is especially true when you consider making a big scary change, and your inner critic decides it needs to protect you from yourself.
If you’ve ever caught yourself arguing with yourself and trying to reason with your fears, then you know that the critic has won the battle. In an attempt to distract you from making the career change you were considering, it throws at you every negative belief within you, every “should” that it hopes will cause you to abandon your dreams. Here’s how to handle the negative thoughts:
- Don’t fight them. Fighting the critic only causes it to grow stronger because you are engaging it. Any attempt to push the thoughts away will only cause them to push back at you–harder!
- Notice and observe the critic in action. Start paying attention to when you are feeling bad about your career change thoughts and become a curious observer. Notice the feelings as they come up and try to become aware of the “shoulds” or other criticisms that make you feel afraid–but don’t do anything else. The key is awareness.
- Take action anyway! Successful career changers know that being afraid is usually a sign you’re headed in the right direction. Tell your inner critic you appreciate its concern and that it’s welcome to come along for the ride. You see, you know deep down inside that you have to go after your dreams and you’re not going to let anything stop you!