Networking is one of the best ways to uncover opportunities, especially when looking for a new job, but many of us shudder at the thought of getting out there and meeting new people. How many of you have ever stalled at the entrance of a business of social event paralyzed at the thought of having to approach and talk with strangers? Most of us have heard that public speaking is one of the greatest human phobias, but “working a room” is right up there with this phobia. Picture this…

You look into a crowded room and see tight circles of people all laughing, gesturing and chatting. Your hands get sweaty and you make a beeline for the food table or bar where you anchor yourself, eyes down clutching a soiled cocktail napkin.

Unfortunately, the scenario above is all too common for many people, but it doesn’t have to be. Preparing for networking and changing your attitude of networking is the secret to more effectively “managing your mingling.”

Becoming a powerful networker doesn’t just happen — it requires planning and preparation around three equally important aspects:

• preparing before the event;
  
• acting appropriately and intentionally at the event;
  
• following up after the event.

Before arriving at a networking event you should have your self introduction down pat. All of us have heard about the three minute elevator speech but it’s important to recognize that different events usually dictate unique self introductions. At a networking event for members of a triathlon club, for example, your self introduction might be:

“Hi, I’m Susan Smith and I’ve been competing in triathlons for about ten years. I’ve been a member of the DC Triathlon Club for six months—how about you?”

Whereas at a wedding your introduction might be something like:

“Hi, I’m Susan Smith. I was Leslie’s college roommate. How do you know Leslie?

Susan RoAne, veteran networker and author of “How to Work a Room” says that many of our networking barriers come directly from our socialization processes as children. Not talking to strangers or waiting to be addressed before speaking, for example, get in our way as adult networkers. She advises focusing on things that we have in common with people at events and redefining the word stranger.

RoAne says that we can dramatically improve our networking skills just by acting like a host at events rather than as a guest. Host-like behavior involves treating everyone like you would guests in your own home. Finding ways to bring people into conversation and recognizing everyone’s unique gifts and talents is a great way to stimulate relaxed conversation.

Think about it… at most networking events, isn’t there something that you have in common with others in the room? Focus on those common attributes and people are no longer strangers.

Be sure to do your research prior to arriving at an event. Dressing in casual attire at a business reception is the wrong way to draw attention to you. Create a unique nametag and wear it at all professional events even where nametags are not provided. Having a neat, professional nametag is a great opportunity for people to notice you and engage you in conversation. When appropriate, add something catchy to standard sticky nametags. I am a Scrabble fanatic so I often write my name with Scrabble letter scores. It’s amazing how many people strike-up a conversation with me as a result of this.

Other tips for working a room include:

• Keep your fresh business cards in your left pocket and cards that you collect in your right pocket. This will avoid scrambling to find your card (or worse, mistakenly giving someone a card that you received from someone else).
  
• Have a pen handy to write down on the back of their card something about the conversation you had with this person or a reminder of something to send them later.
  
• Know when to move on. Too often we get comfortable with one person or a group and don’t move on to meet others. Remember, you’re there to meet as many contacts as you can and so are the people you’re meeting—don’t monopolize their time.
  
• Strive to make contacts, not close deals.
  
• Remember the golden rule — always treat people as you would want them to treat you.

Don’t allow too much time to lapse before dropping a note or e-mail to those you’ve met at an event. Find ways to stay in touch like sending an article to someone that you think they would find interesting. The bottom line is don’t wait until you need a network of contacts—like when you’re looking for a job—to start one.

Networking is a terrific way for you to identify new job opportunities. Next time you find yourself nervous or reluctant to work a room, remember to think and act like the host. I guarantee that you will find it much easier and it will pay off.