I was on a flight from Madison to Washington D.C. recently. It’s an hour and forty minute flight, and I’d planned to get some work done…right after I finished my game of solitaire on my iPod.

You know how this goes… One game became two. Then three. Then I started negotiating, “If I go in the hole (negative balance), I’ll stop.” When I was down 11 bucks, I renegotiated again. “I’ll stop after I win a game,” I told myself. This went on for nearly the entire flight.

My pile of work blinked at me from the empty seat to my left.

I felt such shame. I was letting a random force over which I had no control - the proverbial "luck of the draw" - seduce my attention and dictate my time. How often do we do this at work?

We promise ourselves, “I’ll ask for a raise at my next performance review” even though your next performance review is seven months away (and might never happen anyway) and your contributions would earn you a fair hearing...today.

Or, you bargain, “I’ll talk to Jennifer about the impact her tardiness is having on our team the next time we’re alone together.” You should probably take Jennifer to lunch today (if she can make it on time.)


Why do we let the cards decide for us? There are a couple reasons this could happen:

We haven’t really decided what we want to do about the situation, e.g. we don't know how much of a raise we should ask for, so we put it off;

We want to avoid a feeling, e.g. feeling uncomfortable confronting a coworker about their behavior; or

Procrastination has become a habit, and we’ve lost the gut for proactivity.

People are strange, wondrous and complex creatures. I've seen executives who take vice-like control over their schedules, but will let a strong-willed employee delegate their problems 'up' to their attention. I've watched utterly competent HR professionals allow situations to reach legal action because they didn't demand that a manager take action immediately.


When - and what - are you letting the cards decide for you?

Decide what you want to do about the situation;

Consider the feelings you're trying to avoid, and then remind yourself that those feelings are worth their temporary discomfort to get to a longer-term solution; and

Don't put it off any longer.

You'll clear a bunch of emotional space for yourself by deciding how you are going to play your cards.

Aces up.