When someone steps on your toe, you say, “Ouch!” What do you say and do when someone steps on your emotional toes and hurts your feelings? Saying “ouch” may actually be an appropriate response. Voicing your pain is far better than reacting in a negative way that could end up doing damage to a business relationship that's important to you.

The energy that goes into an overreaction is monumental. Most people are physically and emotionally exhausted after they’ve “let loose” on someone.

People who instantly react in an aggressive manner generally end up feeling hurt and living in fear or with anger. It seems that they are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. What a hard way to go through life!

In order to decide how to respond (rather than react without thinking), you must first consider if the offending action was intentional, what harm was truly done, and if the offender is offering an apology. Whether you are in a new position or one you've had for many years will make a difference in how you feel and how you choose to respond. There are many pieces in play when hurt feelings are flying around the office.

Make no mistake: overreactions are always preceded by some type of emotional pain or perceived fear. Anger should actually be considered a secondary emotion. When you feel it, you need to check out where it’s really coming from. If you choose not to and just go into a reactionary rage, you may never get the chance to truly heal the pain.

Learning to catch yourself is the hardest part. When your blood gets boiling, it can be challenging to contain your feelings, but it’s worth the effort. If you’re having conflict with a team member or client, you will correct it by talking it out rather than just perpetuating it by claming up and holding a grudge.

If you feel yourself getting miffed at someone, before you “go off,” ask yourself if it’s really going to get you what you want. Just taking a moment to consider the results is enough to let you simmer down. Hopefully, you will take another path to resolving your pain. I’m not suggesting that you push down your feelings. Rather, instead of erupting, you need to express yourself in a different, more communicative way.

Sometimes it’s hard to find the words, and it’s okay to put your response on hold for a little while. Perhaps sleeping on it will help you see what it is you really need.

The idea here is to avoid reacting inappropriately when someone you work with does something that ruffles your feathers.