Being too sweet may get you stung!

“No.” Yeah, it’s a simple word, with just two letters and a lack of preconceived connotations. Yet, many business professionals fear letting this slip from their tongues, thus resulting in a permanent black mark on their record. Despite the desire to decline another’s work, most lack the verbiage and/or knowhow.

As many in pursuit of career advancement can attest, this can be one of the most stressful and loaded expressions. On one hand, we as ambitious professionals want to demonstrate capability, responsibility, and enthusiasm as the go-to employee. On the other, constant willingness to assist others with projects can turn you into the gofer. When viewed as the office answer source, it becomes increasingly difficult for that answer to be “No.”

Pick Your Battles
Knowing when and whom to turndown will assuage some of the expected grief. Every office possesses that one serial moocher, who artistically pushes off responsibilities to anyone in their general area, including coworkers, clients, the janitor, even a random guy off the street. When you recognize your position as the looter’s work dumpster, finding the strength to refuse lending a hand becomes easier. And who knows, perhaps your actions will finally empower that person to complete even just one assignment...just don’t hold your breath.

Contrastingly, saying no to upper management becomes a bit trickier. Already, your two-week paycheck clocks out at 96 hours, and your significant other has your cardboard cutout at the dinner table. But having a successful career is important and turning down opportunities might give the wrong impression about your work ethic.

A great way to avoid being stuck between this rock and hard place is to give the supervisor(s) your weekly to-do list. As we all know, upper management can sometimes fail to consider subordinates’ schedules and expect impossible results. When the company leaders can wrap their heads around your full itinerary, they may feel less inclined to load on more baggage. Thus, you’ll mitigate the need for justification of a declined request. Granted, this is an ideal, because there will be times when your manager has no other choice or simply believes you’re the best one for the job (naturally).

“No” after You’ve Said Yes!
One of the best ways to alleviate the guilt of saying “No” is to start saying “Yes.” By either taking the initiative to accept responsibility or seek it out, you earn a get-out-of-work pass. Not only do you come out of it looking like a team player (personal jersey and all), but surreptitiously dictate the efforts coming across your desk.

Ways to Say No
Despite most individuals’ preference for honesty, the word “No”, without a following explanation, catches most off guard and may be perceived as rude, cold, and abrupt. Whether or not this is your intention makes little difference; perception is reality. Instead, maintain a great rapport with your coworkers by declining in a way that would make a PR specialist proud, such as:

• “I would love to help you, but my work load is at full capacity right now. How about I call you when things slow down?”

• “I know I’m usually able to help you, but right now I’m not in the position to do so, as I’m already obligated to other commitments.”

• “I’m sorry, but several tasks have come up that require my undivided attention. I’d be happy to help when I have more time.”

Solutions
Sometimes, even recognizing a peer’s workload can result in a positive outcome without adding another item to your planner. By offering solutions, whether suggesting a more appropriate resource or another individual best suited for the work, a coworker will appreciate your attention to the subject. Better still if they find the advice helpful! If you’d like to take part, but in a less-intensive manner, offer to review the project once completed. They will appreciate this interest, while you maintain sanity and tackle your own inbox.

Your Nonverbal Communication
Most people fear confrontation because it can be uncomfortable and highlight one or both parties in negative light. What most don’t consider is that conflict resolution can be a healthy aspect of relationship growth, when done properly. What often escapes attention during arguments, but fuels them significantly, is our nonverbal communication. Paying attention to your body when rebuffing a request plays largely in your antagonist’s response. Keep the following in mind the next time you say ”No:”

• Eye Contact — The number one rule in conversations, this allows people to feel important and worthwhile. Massaging a counterpart’s ego greases the friction of rejection.

• Smile...A Lot — Naturally disarming, a smile can be the difference between backlash and understanding from a colleague, so show those pearly whites!

• Humor — individuals can harbor feelings of ill will to those who make them laugh, save Chris Rock.

• Refrain from Crossing Your Arms — Immediately, this action puts you on the defensive and signals to the other individual that you are closed off to his or her concerns. Instead, keep your arms down, shoulders back, and chest exposed, suggesting a more personable and open demeanor.

Whether you need to attend a big-wig meeting to discuss the future of the company, or discern between the different tannin levels of wine at your friend’s house, remember your time is your time. Don’t let your inability to communicate your wishes effectively bury you under an exhausting workload. Practice exercising keen selection, and not only will you breathe easier, but your coworkers will be hard-pressed to peg you as a pushover.